This year I hit the 4-year mark! I’ve officially been a stay-at-home mom for 4 years. In some ways, it does feel like it. My former HR career feels like it was a long time ago. But in other ways, of course, the years feel like just a blink. Maybe the years really are short like everyone says.
As I reflect on 4 years, I thought I’d put together 4 things I’ve learned so far along the way! One thing per post so it’s relatively quick to read in the short minutes you have. Maybe you’ll find some things that resonate with you too. Here we go!
1. Being home so much, I have to work to make sure home remains a place I enjoy being.
We’re at home a lot, which is really how I like it to be at least in this season where my kids are little. This also means that home is often messy quickly. Honestly, this caught me by surprise. I assumed because I would be home all day, it would be cleaner. Not a chance! Turns out, wherever you spend a lot of time is also where you make a lot of messes.
Plus, I’m always looking at all there is to do. Trying to relax and recharge in the evenings while still surrounded by all the stuff from the day has taken some getting used to. The walls can start closing in.
I have to be intentional to keep our home a place I enjoy being. A place I enjoy throughout the day with the kids or as a family. And a place I enjoy in the early mornings, or nap times, or evening times when it’s just me or I’m spending time with my husband. On a practical level, that means a few things –
- Sometimes, I let messes go so I can focus on other things. Other times, I stay up until 2am to reset the house. The pendulum swings both ways, and I allow it to. I used to try to maintain the house a certain way all the time and found it wasn’t working for me at this point with a toddler and a preschoooler. Having some ebbs and flows allows me to sense what I need to be my best self. We also have a housekeeper once a month.
- We get out of the house a few times a week. It could be an hours-long outing or just for cake pops. This gives me fresh perspective and energizes me. (I find it does that for my kids too.) Makes for a lighter clean-up back at home too!
- I think about how to welcome each of us to home each day. Myself, my kids, and my husband. I keep this simple and doable – lighting a candle, baking something special, playing music, stocking my favorite chocolate treats, having a few new Play-Doh colors set out as a surprise for the next morning. It could be anything really. Anything that adds a little special touch. (When I start feeling extra overwhelmed or stressed, I notice that I’ve usually stopped paying attention to this. So, getting back on track with welcoming us to home helps me lessen the stress that piled up.)
I want to enjoy being home, and I want my kids to enjoy being home. I want us to enjoy family time here and feel like we can have our best moments and memories here. With being here so much, it’s taking more intentionality than I initially anticipated. But the intentionality is so worth it! My hope is this makes a difference not just now – but in the years to come as well as they grow older.
