Reddit has become the place for all kinds of questions! I saw this question posted, and it immediately reminded me of some situations I’ve encountered before.
Sound familiar? Issues like this come up from time to time in any organization. For me, besides the fact that this made me want to go watch The Office, it brought to mind a couple of situations I’ve encountered. In some cases, the complaining remained trivial. However, in others, it escalated to concerns of favoritism, harassment, and discrimination.
That’s what can get tricky about these types of situations. On one hand, you don’t want to reward bad behavior with attention. Plus, you have a lot of other important work to do. At the same time, these situations can escalate quickly. Before you know it, you’ve gone from trivial complaints to harassment. And, at that point, recollections will be different. What was employees saying they were “just venting” to you before is now recalled as “reporting concerns” to you as the manager. And if those concerns weren’t addressed along the way, you’re now in hot water too.
Even if the complaints remain small, though, employee morale can be negatively affected for those who have to listen to this. So, as annoying and childish as this dynamic may seem, it’s not good to just ignore it.
How can you effectively address employees who are tattling on each other?
Ask what they’re looking for from you. When Jim or Pam comes to you with a tattle about the other, take it as an actual complaint. Ask them what they’re looking for from you. What do they want you to do about this? Most likely, they’ll say “nothing,” to which you explain that you have a responsibility to take complaints seriously. So, is this a complaint or not? They’ll quickly realize that complaining for no reason isn’t an option. On the other hand, if something more serious is going on, they’re more likely to tell you actions they would like for you to take.
Address policy and procedure violations. When Jim complains that Pam sends calls to him, get some examples. If it seems that Pam really might be sending too many calls, then talk with Pam about it. Ask her about these calls and why she’s sending so many to Jim. (Keep in mind the importance of asking before accusing, especially if you think the root of this is personal and not actually work-related.) If it turns out there are indeed some calls she doesn’t need to send over, then set those expectations. It’s much easier to handle things like this when they’re minor than when the whole situation has escalated.
Have a group resolution meeting. The writer of the Reddit question thinks that this whole dynamic is because of a personal issue between Jim and Pam. I would talk with them individually about why they aren’t getting along. Not the 100 things they don’t like about each other but the main issues they have with each other. If it doesn’t come up on its own, ask if the situation with Angela is playing into this. Once you know the root of the issues, let each of them know that you expect them to be able to work respectfully and professionally with each other. Suggest a group resolution meeting that you’ll facilitate. In the meeting, they’ll each get a chance to let the other know what they need in order to have a better working dynamic. You’ll help keep the conversation on track and in a healthy, positive direction. End the meeting by reminding them of your expectations of respect and professionalism.
Make it clear that employee tattling is unacceptable. If left unaddressed, it easily spreads and becomes toxic to your department and/or organization. Take the time to proactively address it. If there are more serious issues going on, you’ll uncover them and can address them quickly. If the complaints are trivial, employees will realize that tattling isn’t rewarded, and the behavior will likely cease quickly. And everyone can get back to work!
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