As I was preparing to go on my first maternity leave, I figured I would tie up as many loose ends as possible, hand everything off to my boss and coworkers, and then pick it all back up once I returned. Everything would then go forward as usual – just with the addition of a baby. I had no idea how much my life was about to change. And that I might find myself wanting to negotiate some changes before maternity leave ended.
A lot happens during your maternity leave – whether it’s your first child or not. You experience this huge life change that affects every area of your life. And then when it comes to work, you are away from the office long enough to have a fresh perspective.
So, you might find that you want work to look a little different than you’d anticipated. You may have different needs and desires.
The time to start those conversations is BEFORE you return. First of all, it’s easier while you still have your fresh perspectives – and before things get so much busier. Plus, you have more leverage. Your boss is ready to have you back! (Just use your power wisely of course.)
It’s okay if you don’t completely know for sure how you want everything to be. You’ll never be sure until you start trying some tweaks to see what works well. What’s important is to go ahead and start the conversations before you return. Explore options with your boss, and decide how to start out.
Where to begin? Start with these 4 topics:
Return date
Even though you probably listed a return date on your initial leave paperwork, don’t feel tied to it. The truth is you don’t really know how much leave you’ll need/want until you’re in the midst of it. Want a few more weeks of leave? Ask for it. Or maybe you want to return a little earlier but with a reduced schedule to spread out your leave. It’s okay to request a different date.
It’s also okay to request one even if it’s longer than your organization typically allows. I know it might make you feel nervous. Remind yourself that it doesn’t make you a bad employee if you want some more time. Yes, it might stress your boss or rock the boat. But you don’t want to have regrets or wonder what could have happened had you asked. (And if you do think making this request could cost you your job, then you need to look for another job.) Ask for what you need.
And consider returning mid-week so your first week isn’t such a doozy. This was really helpful for me. (Read more about my experience as a first-time working mom and what I think all first-time working moms should know.)
Work schedule
Think about the hours you work each day and the number of days per week. Does that schedule still give you the life you’re wanting to have? If so, great! If not, try to tweak it. Maybe you’d like to start later or end earlier. Or maybe you’d prefer working 4 days instead of 5. With lots of jobs, there’s more than one way to get the work done. You’ll need to be prepared to explain to your boss how this schedule would benefit the company as well as yourself. Get creative!
Pumping needs
If you’ll be pumping (or nursing), think about your schedule and the logistics. When will you need to pump (and how long)? Where? How will you store the milk?
You’ll know how much detail you need to get into with your boss. I have found transparency is helpful. I also found that I didn’t fully know what I needed until I started doing it. The goal is for you to know you’ll have the support you need.
I hear a lot of working moms talking about their bosses being annoyed at their pumping needs. This is so frustrating. While this is certainly easier said than done, I’d encourage you to stick with it. This goes in the “try not to have any regrets” category. This is a season – a very short season. Make the decisions that work best for YOU AND YOUR BABY. You know that your organization makes decisions that are in its best interest. You can do the same.
Workload
Here’s one I wish I had spent more time on. Deep down, I knew I was burned out before going on maternity leave. Instead of discussing workload options with my boss, I simply returned to the same workload. I hoped I would feel refreshed enough that it wouldn’t matter. I was wrong.
If your time away has made you view your work demands differently, now is the time to broach the subject. Make the case for what you need but also how it would benefit your boss and the company.
With all of these topics, start these conversations early. It takes time to evaluate requests and find out what’s possible. And with whatever you ask for, consider saying you want to “try it out.” You really don’t fully know how something will/won’t work until you try it! (Same goes for your boss.) Ask to try your plan for a few weeks. This can help your request to get approved since it’s not immediately permanent.
I know this can be incredibly nerve-wracking. You don’t want to rock the boat or cause any stress. So, I encourage you to take some baby steps. Ask for a little thing here and a little thing there. Advocating for yourself is a habit. The more we moms do this, the more commonplace it will become, and the better the workplace will be.
Photo: My first Mother’s Day with Katherine at 5 weeks old!
