Breastfeeding at work. It’s a topic we haven’t been very accustomed to, but COVID-19 is changing that. With so many employees working from home and daycare centers closed, employees are juggling work and childcare in all kinds of new ways. Recently, this came up on SHRM Connect in the form of, “Breastfeeding on Zoom Calls…What Would You Do?” Here’s the scenario:
An employee started breastfeeding during an 8-person Zoom meeting without a covering and didn’t turn off her camera. The men on the call were “clearly uncomfortable” with this, as was the female employee who mentioned this to the SHRM member who posted the question.
Now I know what you’re thinking – “I’m so glad I’m not in HR!” (I get that a lot.) But this situation doesn’t have to be that scary. So, how should that manager respond? The answer is probably much simpler than we might think.
If you see a baby while on a Zoom meeting, what are you going to do? You’re going to smile and say how cute the baby is, ask a bunch of questions, and then get back to work. What if the mom or dad needs to bottle-feed the baby? No problem. You get it – baby needs to eat. What if the mom or dad needs to spoon-feed the baby? No problem. You get it – baby needs to eat. And if the mom chooses to feed the baby another way – a.k.a. breastfeeding? No problem. You get it – baby needs to eat.
That may be a very surprising rationale. After all, companies have dress codes and lactation rooms, so why should an employee be allowed to breastfeed on Zoom?
Great companies are supportive of working mothers. Working mothers should be able to make their own decisions about how to feed their babies without having to choose between their career and nourishing their little ones. This isn’t a decision for a company to make. There is so much research about all the benefits of breastfeeding, even about how supporting breastfeeding can help you retain working mothers. The purpose of lactation rooms is to support working mothers by providing them with a nice space that’s helpful for them. It’s not to keep them away from others. It’s because, frankly, pumping or breastfeeding can be difficult with people continually bombarding you with work questions.
Breastfeeding isn’t about anything sexual or inappropriate; it’s about feeding a baby. I think our hangup with it is that we’re still getting used to it as a society. In fact, it took until 2018 for it to be legal in all 50 states to breastfeed in public. We talk about how great the concept is, but we’re still getting accustomed to seeing someone else do it – and that goes for both men and women. But, I can tell you that, based on how popular the topic is on Google right now, the idea of breastfeeding at work is going to start coming up more and more.
So, how do you respond to the uncomfortable employees on the Zoom meeting? They really shouldn’t be staring at her chest – that’s what’s weird. As a breastfeeding mom myself, I can tell you there was probably very little to see on that Zoom call. The employee was fully clothed otherwise, and the baby was actively breastfeeding. She wasn’t holding out her breast for show-and-tell. So, there’s no dress code or code of conduct issue. Gently remind the other employees that you support a women’s right to feed her baby how she chooses and that they aren’t being asked to watch anyone breastfeed. If they’re uncomfortable making eye contact or looking in her direction, they can certainly just look the other way.
You and I both know that may not be the end of the conversation. They might push for the employee to use a covering of some kind. If that happens, let them know it would be inappropriate for you to tell any employee how to feed her child. That’s not your role as a manager.
What’s more likely is that the employees push for her to turn off her camera. This could seem like an easy compromise on the surface, but it could also impact the mom’s ability to participate as fully in the meeting. That’s not really a great decision to make on someone else’s behalf. You can be empathetic by acknowledging that this is something new for the team and then reminding employees that one of the great things about your team/company is that you’re a great workplace for everyone – including working moms of babies.
When it comes to the mom, I would recommend that you as a manager do a quick check-in with her just to make sure she feels supported and comfortable. There could be many reasons she’s breastfeeding during the meeting. Perhaps she really is that comfortable; which, if so, more power to her. However, there could be other reasons. Maybe she’s feeling she needs to prove she’s still just as engaged at work as she was before having a baby. Or maybe everyone always has their cameras on and she was hesitant to ask for special treatment. Send a quick note to her along the lines of, “I’m so glad your adorable baby can join us! Do what you need to do. If you feel like you need a different environment at any point during the meeting, don’t hesitate to turn off your camera or leave the meeting. We’ll completely understand. We’re happy to have you here as long as you’re able to be.” Simple and supportive.
When Katherine was a baby, I was fortunate to have a boss who was very supportive of my desire to breastfeed her and allowed me to use my lunch break to go to her daycare to nurse her. That way, I only had to pump once a day. (I personally hated pumping and found it really difficult.) Once, my husband brought her to me at work to nurse. Baby’s gotta eat! Particularly being a first-time working mom, it meant the world to me to have bosses who were supportive of me and of helping me prioritize my career and my baby in the ways that were important to me.
Breastfeeding isn’t a big deal to all moms, and that’s totally fine. It’s a personal decision, but it’s one that moms should make – not employers. Breastfeeding on Zoom shouldn’t be an issue.
You might be wondering whether this creates a domino effect for breastfeeding at work onsite. As you know, I’m all about having the same expectations for videoconference behavior as you do for onsite behavior. At the same time, we’re in a different dynamic right now with the pandemic, and that requires a willingness to try some new things. You maintain the ability to decide how far this extends, but I don’t see this creating major issues to stress about, even outside of a pandemic scenario. It’s unlikely you’d have an employee onsite who needed to bring her baby into an in-person meeting in order to feed her. If the employee happened to have her baby with her and needed to breastfeed during a videoconference, it seems like that should work.
Now, in all reality, I’m aware that this advice may seem too unconventional for many leaders, especially based on the comments on the SHRM Connect post. You may work for a company that would never go for this. If that’s the case, you could ask her to turn off her camera. That’s certainly still a step in the right direction of being a supportive workplace. The law simply requires workplaces that are covered by the FLSA to provide break time for expressing milk and to provide a space for it that’s not a bathroom. These requirements are so basic that following them really isn’t a huge show of support. So, you’ll want to go above and beyond the law if you want to demonstrate you’re a great workplace for working moms. After all, what company ever became a great workplace because they did only what they “had” to do?
Photo credit: By Orbon Alija / Canva
