Ahh Valentine’s Day. The day some people look forward to for months and other people dread. Some couples get all dressed up and enjoy a night on the town while others binge-watch the latest Netflix series. The day that can rekindle romance or make you very aware you’re single. Whether you love it or hate it, though, everyone celebrates Valentine’s Day in some way. Even without a significant other, we get to enjoy celebrating important family and friends in our lives. While you’re busy finding the perfect card or gift for those special people in your life, you may wonder what to do at the office. After all, you spend as much time (maybe more) with your employees and coworkers as you do with your family. Plus, the more your department or organization feels like family, the more Valentine’s Day celebrations and gifts may be the norm. Is it possible to celebrate Valentine’s Day at work – and stay on the right side of your anti-harassment policies?
The short answer is yes, but it requires intentionality about what you do and how you do it.
Let’s talk about this from two different perspectives – an employee and a leader. And let’s set a foundation that men and women can both be the givers or receivers of Valentine’s Day gifts.
To: Employee, From: Employee
If you’re a staff-level employee, you certainly don’t have to give Valentine’s Day gifts at work. If you want to, then go for it. For most of my career, my coworkers and I didn’t exchange Valentine’s Day gifts. One year, I had a new coworker who was always looking for thoughtful things to do for us, and she gave each of us candy. Either way, it can be fine. Find out what your company or team usually does so you can be prepared.
When it comes to who you give gifts to, be mindful of how you go about this. For a male, giving gifts to only certain females isn’t a good idea (neither is the other way around). Remember, with so much of Valentine’s Day being about romance, you don’t want to get yourself into a sticky situation. Give gifts to everyone in your team or department. That way, there’s no risk of anyone feeling uncomfortably singled out or wondering about your intentions. Steer clear of flowers – they’re too much about romance. Think in terms of candy, chocolate, coffee – something that you might give your kids’ teachers.
If everyone is exchanging gifts, it would probably be nice to include your boss as well. If it feels odd to give something that’s just from you, give a team gift.
To: Employee, From: Boss
If you’re a leader, the same guidelines generally apply to you, but then it goes a step further. As the boss, you have to make sure that your employees don’t feel awkward about getting a gift from you. In addition, you have to make sure they don’t feel like there’s any romantic intention behind it.
While you don’t have to give Valentine’s Day gifts to your employees, it’s a great opportunity to show appreciation. A lot of employees appreciate getting something from their bosses, so it’s worth considering.
The key is in what you give and how you do it. Same as above, no flowers. Consider your team environment and what your employees would enjoy. Keep it light and festive with the focus being on appreciation. Get some of the fun cards that elementary school kids give out, and attach some candy or chocolate. Bring in doughnuts or cookies for everyone, or cater in lunch. Give a $5 Starbucks gift card (this works great for remote teams). Let everyone leave a little early.
In terms of how you do it, remember you don’t want anyone questioning your intentions or feeling awkward. This isn’t the time to get really personal with your gifts (or with the cards). Give the same thing to each of your employees. Keep it light and fun. If you just have one employee who is of the opposite sex, then do something more group-related. Include the overall department you’re both a part of, or do something like doughnuts for you both or letting him/her leave early.
Have a Party!
If you’re part of a relatively small organization, it could be fun to do something as a whole. Have a Valentine’s Day party at the office, and ask everyone to bring some little Valentine’s gifts to share. Put the gifts on a table along with some goodies and treats, and everyone can get what they want. (Be sure to follow COVID-19 safety protocols, and have everything individually wrapped!) This allows you to have a festive atmosphere where everyone gets to participate. No one feels singled out or pressured to get gifts for anyone. Plus, for employees who may not be able to afford buying gifts, they’ll be able to be part of the festivities without worrying about others realizing they didn’t give anything.
Celebrating Valentine’s Day at work doesn’t have to fill you with anxiety. The key is to keep it light and fun. Focus on showing your appreciation to your colleagues and your employees, avoid singling anyone out, and you’ll be able to have a very enjoyable Valentine’s Day – without regrets!
Photo credit: By roslen / Canva
