I’m a huge advocate of breastfeeding. Before Katherine was born, I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed. But I didn’t realize just how important it was to me until she was a few days old. We went to the pediatrician for her 3-day checkup, and he was a little concerned about the rate at which she was losing weight. He wanted us to come back in a week for a weight check. If things weren’t improving at a good pace, we might need to talk about supplementing with formula.
All of a sudden, I knew how important this was to me. I was determined to figure out what needed to change. As a first-time mom, I was so new to breastfeeding. And new to the idea of helping a baby learn how to breastfeed. The good news is Katherine was a quick learner and loved to nurse, so we got the hang of it! By the time we went back for the weight check, she’d surpassed her birth weight!
All in all, we breastfed until she was 22 months old. (With about 4 1/2 of those months involving me being at work and doing a pumping/nursing combo before becoming a SAHM.) It’s longer than I anticipated at the beginning, but it seemed just right for both of us. I’m so pleased with our journey.
Now, as we prepare for baby #2, I’m thinking about breastfeeding preparations. Some things I want to do the same. A few things I want to try differently. And I want to share with you what I learned along the way the first time.
(And let me pause to be very clear about something. Yes, I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding. I also firmly believe that good mamas feed their babies – however that happens. Not every mom can breastfeed or wants to. I support moms in making their own decisions on what’s best.)
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What I learned as a first-time breastfeeding mom
Try various positions. It may take some trial and error to find the breastfeeding positions that work the best for you and your baby. The nurses at the hospital can be really helpful with this. As baby grows, you may find that the best position changes.
Proactively teach baby to breastfeed. I had assumed that Katherine would give me a sign when she was hungry. That wasn’t the case for us those first few days. So, I wasn’t proactively trying to nurse and teach her as frequently as would have been helpful. This is one thing that I’ll change with baby #2.
Have a good nursing bra – a couple of them. When I was pregnant, I went ahead and bought maternity/nursing bras so I could figure out what I liked. This was so helpful! My favorite has been Kindred Bravely’s Simply Sublime Nursing Bra. I’ve been wearing them now for over 2 1/2 years. They’re really comfortable and easy to use. At first, I bought one beige and one black so I could just rotate them based on what I was wearing that day. Then, I learned all kinds of milk mishaps can happen – from leaking to baby spitting up on them. And it’s really uncomfortable trying to wear a wet bra. So, it’s helpful to have a couple of nursing bras so you can change into a dry one!
You’ll get used to the schedule – but it takes time. It took a little time to get used to the concept of nursing every few hours during the day (plus the nighttime schedule). I developed a whole new understanding of time! Nursing times come back around quickly! What helped me a LOT was having a place to start. My Type A self needed a schedule to start with that I could then tweak to fit our own needs. The Moms on Call books were a lifesaver. They were literally the only baby books I read! Their 0-6 month book has schedule recommendations that gave me a place to start. (Also available here on Kindle.) Can’t recommend it enough!
Length and frequency will vary. With my experience and what I’ve heard from my mom friends, every child is different when it comes to length and frequency of feedings. Katherine was a leisurely diner (and liked to nurse, doze, nurse…). Our nursings regularly lasted 45+ minutes. With others I knew, feedings were shorter. For a little while, I actually tried to shorten our nursings, thinking they were longer than they were supposed to be. But then I started having clogged milk ducts (which were incredibly painful). So, I nixed that and let her nurse as long as she wanted. When I settled in to the routine and schedule she needed, everything was better, and I was more relaxed.
Have a good pump. Even if you plan to nurse exclusively, have a good pump clean and ready to use. I’ve used the Philips AVENT Double Electric Breast Pump and been really pleased with it. There were times, especially during those early months, when Katherine would fall asleep and either skip a side or have a short nursing on it. And that side would be so full it was painful! One night, I remember not even being able to sleep. So, I went downstairs and pumped. So helpful! This is also what I used to pump when I was at work. It fit comfortably and was really compact to carry around each day.
It’s possible to do a combination of bottle and breast. We wanted Katherine to be used to a bottle since I would be returning to work. So, we did it sporadically during maternity leave. My husband, Joel, introduced her to the bottle, and that went really well. When I was working full-time, she had one bottle of breastmilk each day and then nursed the rest of the feedings. We used the Philips AVENT bottles, which also have nipples with various milk flows. It was very important to me that she be able to switch back and forth between bottle and breast. This worked great for us.
Have a good nursing cover. And take it with you everywhere! You never know when you’ll need it! As soon as you think you’re just running out for a quick errand, there’s traffic or some kind of major delay. Or your baby gets hungry early. I used the Bebe Au Lait nursing cover and had it in the diaper bag so it was always handy. Bonus – they have a lot of really cute designs! (Side note – I’m very supportive of moms breastfeeding without covers – even during work Zoom meetings. I’ve personally preferred having a cover, but if it’s not your thing, that’s okay too! You do you!)
Pumping at work is hard – ask for what you need. For me, pumping at work was a challenge. My job was nonstop. I had to be very diligent about blocking off the time on my calendar and sticking to it. Pumping was a slow process for me and usually took about 45 minutes. I would usually have things with me to work on. But I had to make sure they weren’t too stressful and didn’t require a ton of mental energy. Otherwise, my milk wouldn’t flow well. Thankfully, I had a very supportive boss and coworkers. My boss also agreed to let me adjust my schedule so I could pump once and nurse the other feeding. So, typically, I pumped during lunch and left early to nurse, taking work calls on the road. I’m confident this helped my milk supply stay up. Be proactive in asking for what you need. And what you need may change as you try various things. [Here are ways leaders can support breastfeeding moms.]
It’s a huge commitment. Breastfeeding is a HUGE commitment! Whether you’re nursing exclusively, pumping exclusively, or doing a combination, it takes a lot of time and energy. It’s like a full-time job in and of itself! Especially during those first few months, it was challenging for me to figure out how to navigate a lot of other commitments. Even figuring out grocery store timing was a challenge! There were plenty of times I didn’t do other things because I needed to breastfeed. What helped me was to reassure myself that my priorities were intact. Breastfeeding was really important to me, and it was okay if it meant that some other things couldn’t be priorities during this season. Settle in, and tell yourself you’re doing a great job!
Trust your instincts. Even as a first-time mom. You have unique insight into what your baby needs – even if you don’t realize it! The more I trusted my instincts, the better decisions I made. And the more confident I became! Still a lot of trial and error, but that’s okay! I think that’s how it’s supposed to be. You’ve got this, Mama!
Photo: One of my favorite photos of Katherine smiling and sleeping right after nursing. Milk coma smiles are the best!
